Pointers are of limited value. The word “process” is misleading. This is all there is. Seriously. Just this.
Reflections on choice, or free will, can get all tied up in knots. Drop the question, and what’s left? Just this, just what is happening. Then it becomes a matter of acceptance or resistance. Is that a choice? I don’t know. But it can be investigated. Is there resistance to what is, or acceptance? Resistance or acceptance is simply what is arising in the moment. Maybe all that can be done is to look, to check it out for yourself. Who is living this life, your so-called life?
If there is suffering, then maybe this question has yet to be thoroughly explored. There is no answer. That’s the delightful surprise. Answers are for the mind, and the mind cannot get to the root of this. It can only take you so far, and then FAIL. There is only this and the possibility of enjoying it or objecting to it in some way. The etymology of the word “choice” is “to taste, to try.” It is from the same base as “gusto.”
Look and see if there is anyone there to resist or to accept whatever is happening. If suffering is happening, does it belong to anybody? If joy is happening, is it possible that the “me” who would suffer can’t make a claim either way? What a relief! Taste it, try it. Mucho gusto.
If any of the following “complaints” have a familiar ring, we can look for the one who thinks they’re a problem.
- I never have enough money to do what I want.
- I can’t believe he/she lied to me.
- Why didn’t anyone like my Facebook status?
- God, I’m fat.
- He/She never called me back.
- I’m a total failure.
- She/He didn’t even notice me.
- Why are you always late?
- He/She would never love me.
- I’m feeling pretty hopeless/helpless.
- My boss is an overbearing tyrant.
- There’s something wrong with me.
- I did all this for you, and you didn’t even say “thank you.”
- I feel left out, excluded.
- I made such an ass out myself; I’ll never live that one down.
- Stupid people really bother me.
Wherever there’s a complaint, there is an identity being triggered. Add your own to the list. What is the biggest, or the most recent, source of dissatisfaction? Even the smallest disagreements with life as it shows up can be symptoms of a general malaise, reflections of disapproval projected out there, because it’s easier than looking towards the source. A whine or a low moan might go deeper than you think. If you could get to the root of even a single complaint, you’d see them all for the ineffectual strategies they really are, and you could begin to feel yourself breaking free. Imagine that. No complaints.