Facilitating, Teaching: A Walk in the Woods

Painted Wall at Black Canyon

There are a lot of discussions around, and derision for, the idea of teachers in the non-dual community. As a facilitator, I have an interest in the distinctions between the two titles, and in clarifying what we do. First of all, I’m not even sure what it means to teach. Seriously. I looked it up in the Online Etymology Dictionary and found that the Old English derivation of the word “teach” is “to show, point out.” And furthermore discovered that it shares its origins with the word “diction,” which comes from digit, or “finger.” Huh. The finger pointing towards the moon—there it is. And I thought it meant, as is noted on dictionary.com, “to impart knowledge or skill; give instruction.” It was the imparting knowledge and giving instruction parts that I was confused about. I could use instruction on how to tie a Gordian knot, but can anyone impart knowledge about that which is essentially unspeakable? Like they say in the writing world, “Show, don’t tell.”

I can say with complete confidence that, as a facilitator, I have no knowledge that you, or anyone who comes for a session, does not have. I mean “knowledge” and “don’t have” literally. The inverse is true, as well. There is no teacher, mine or yours, of whom this could be said. It is fundamentally dualistic to think otherwise. And by that I mean, it is inherently divisive to think in terms of a teacher with knowledge up here, and a student believing in his own ignorance out there.

That is not to say that there is not the appearance of teachers, and students going to hear what they have to say. And by using the term  “appearance of” I do not mean some flakey version of no one here, nothing happening, transcendent foolish-wisdom-words. If a bird sings, there is a song to be heard. If a teacher teaches….No problem there. It is to say that the belief that someone has answers that you do not is the sticking point. It is the belief itself that is coming from a dualistic viewpoint and necessarily divisive. It is the belief, the concept, the culturally and socially condoned practice that, in effect, creates the appearance of teacher/student. If you did not have this particular belief, it wouldn’t be a part of your experience, and you wouldn’t care much either way. Is it a problem if you’re not thinking about it?

To facilitate is “to render easy.” The facilitators at Living Inquiries, to the best of my understanding, can and do render, or “give back,” the questions, and see to it that it is your answer to your question that is the imparted wisdom. Your experience is paramount, not the wisdom or clarity of any particular facilitator, and Scott Kiloby does the same. We’re all birds, just singing songs. Listen or doze off, as you please.

So what to expect in signing up for a session? (First, note the caveat here to drop all expectations.) But in a manner of speaking, what happens, from my point of view, during these sessions is that they are somewhat like a walk in nature. We walk through the woods or the hills, and like friends do, we point out to each other this or that tree, that bird, those tracks. It’s not a matter of labeling or categorizing the various appearances; not an expert on flora and fauna. A facilitator just happens to have made this particular walk many times before, down this particular trail, so may or may not see things that might otherwise be missed. However, someone new (or old) to this work often has the fresh eyes to see the trail in new ways, so the pointing is just as often mutually enlightening.

A friend once took me to see Black Canyon, the deepest canyon in the world. I never knew it was there, had never even heard of it before. He simply drove down a dusty old road, parked in a nearly vacant parking lot, and we walked through breezy evergreens toward a fenced precipice. I looked over, and stepped back from the edge immediately. This was, experientially, a whole new definition of “looking down.” I went back to look again, and the response this time was simply, “Oh.” We stayed awhile to gaze wordlessly at the wonder of it all. My concept of “deep” has been fundamentally altered. It doesn’t even mean what I thought it meant, at all. And the depth of the glimpse displaces any notion of this body as a limited container, or located vessel of consciousness. There, here, it is—in the looking. All distinctions fall away.

Yesterday, I had a session with someone who wanted to look for the teacher. We went to where there was no teacher, internally or externally. And finally, no teaching…nothing…but, like the glimpse into the depths of the canyon, space, vastness, emptiness. Meh, those words don’t cut it either. Lose the words, any description, all points of reference. It was like that.

I have no special knowledge to impart, no claim to be anyone or anything different from you. I would like to take you to see that canyon, watch you step up to that precipice. The “oh,” is all yours—to make of it what you will. End of tour spiel.

Or, there’s more over here, just beyond that ridge, that you just might like to take a look at before you go home again. Let’s go see.

Guesting? Or Interloping…

Tiny House

It’s been 7 weeks now since the house I lived in flooded due to a burst pipe. I visited it last weekend, and although the demolition had been completed, the restoration work had not even begun. It is a house without floors, without drywall in most cases, empty, except for one bedroom where most of my furniture and stuff is all crammed into a small space.

I’ve spent this time between two hosts; one family, the other friend. I’ve had offers to come and stay various places, but we (my dog and I) would have to get in the car and travel, again…and here’s the thing: you have to pick where you guest very carefully—because of what it’s like to take up another’s space with the sound & fury of who you appear to be. The utmost respect for others, for their preferences, their quirks, their need for personal space, is imperative. And without even thinking about it, even the idea of my preferences, quirks, and needs must necessarily not only become secondary, if not irrelevant, they also most humbly come up for review. What is needed/offered as a guest? You discover very quickly the answer is Read more

On Meaninglessness

The Scream ~ Edvard Munch

We don’t cause the planets to spin, our hearts to beat, don’t plan our time of death, or know what the weather will be for certain on any given day—yet still there is this feeling that what we do matters, has an impact, actually changes things. At the very least we can change our circumstances, or the circumstances of others, right? Sometimes it appears that we can, and very often it appears that whatever is going to happen will happen regardless, or in spite of, our best efforts. Does the fact that it appears we can make some things happen, but are utterly ineffectual in so many other situations, mean that we have some control over our lives? Or does it simply mean that we are in alignment (pleased) with some of what happens but not all of it? Do we take credit for that which occurs, that we wanted to happen and worked for, and then become mystified and blame others, or God, when the same degree of desire and effort comes to naught? Is it “even a blind pig picks up an acorn from time to time,” or “Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit?” Is an answer or a certainty required in regard to who or what is in charge, or do we simply live as we do without knowing the answer but behaving as if we are in charge any way?

Does the idea that all happens in its own way and in its own time and no amount of effort or belief changes that in any way; that this or that happens without regard to the personal, without any apparent cause and effect, suggest meaninglessness?

If cause and effect, and time & space are purely conceptual, if the world as we know it is ultimately impersonal, and thus nothing benefits or hinders any-one, anywhere, there are some who would conclude that life is essentially meaningless.

If there is nothing you or any other individual can do to change the course of nature, or life itself, is there a connotation of “why bother?” or an aggravating insistence that of course there is something you or I can do? Will either a laissez faire attitude or redoubled efforts change anything?

Meaning is unavoidably personal. Our idea of ourselves, our persona, comes from the conceptual, from the mind. Only the mind would come up with the idea of meaninglessness, because it is the mind’s job, it’s raison d’etre, to confer meaning. Mind is the activity of bestowing meaning, which arises simultaneously with judgment. Meaning and judgment are inextricably linked. This is how we create the self, the personal out of the impersonal. This is how we seem to be separate and divided.

In the Unfindable Inquiries, we discover over and over again that no deficient self exists, until ultimately no self at all, and no other, can be found anywhere. Yet the idea that there is someone here who can make something happen, or keep something from happening, persists regardless of all the evidence to the contrary. We think, “Maybe I should try the UI,” for instance. And since I had that thought, obviously I can choose—to improve, to fix, to try something new. Looking into all the circumstances that led to that thought, and what happens between the thought and actually making the appointment, it can be seen that the “do or the do not” is a matter of incalculable influences, circumstances and happenings over which we have no control—including the response, emotional or intellectual, that arises right now to this idea.

So, is life meaningless? From the perspective of the individual, only if circumstances can be altered (usually for the better) by our actions, or a reason is given for an occurrence, or a purpose is found for our existence. From the broadest perspective, beyond “me” and any sense of personal agency, life is unfathomable, to use a word. The very concept of meaning becomes meaningless, irrelevant, once the concept of the individual self is seen through, once the mind and the body are returned to their proper places, as servants to the Kingdom that is this life force. That is the origin of the word “purpose;” to put in place—in this case, from master to servant. The world as we understand it from this little head could be said to be meaningless, but it is the very same little head that attempted to give it meaning in the first place.

To search for meaning is human, a very deep yearning that propels us…where? Keep looking until there is no meaning to be found, for you. See the indescribable as it is revealed beyond words, beyond the personal. Perhaps you will be relieved of the interminable burden of seeking for meaning in a meaningless world. Keep looking until “The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns,” is found.

“I have given everything I see all the meaning that it has for me.” ~ A Course in Miracles

If meaning is self-generated, where do you go to find it? And why for so long, and so far?

Boulder, CO Compulsive Intensive with Scott Kiloby

IMG_0240Awhile back, I wrote about the impact of the Compulsion Inquiry on my life, and on the lives of others we’ve worked with live and in sessions. You can read all about it here, in general, and its relationship to the homeostatic body here. The point is, we’ve seen some good come from the CI, for all kinds of people with all kinds of compulsions and all kinds of addictions. If you’re interested in finding out what this is all about, I hope you’ll join Scott and I in Boulder, CO, on March 1-3. Maybe you’re addicted to a substance or an activity. Maybe there is something you’d like to think about or act upon…just a little less compulsively. This is what we look at with the CI. We’re leading away from compulsion and addiction, towards freedom.

There are some spots left, and you can register at ScottKilobytalks.com. Pretty sure you’ll be glad you came.  You can contact me at colette.kelso@gmail.com if you have any other questions. Here are three posts that explain more about the CI:

The Compulsion Inquiry~Self as Contraction, Manifesting as Compulsion

Beyond Compulsion

Homeostasis and Compulsive Behavior

Hope to see you there.